Several years ago, in a weak moment, I taught some of my nephews the intricacies of politically correct profanity for the children of Christian parents.  I pointed out that books of the bible can be used effectively as a substitute.  For example:  “Genesis” used with the proper inflection takes on a whole new meaning.  There was added benefit of making it more difficult for Christian parents to level criticism.  This was developed with the realization that people are born with the need to express themselves extemporaneously when circumstances require.  That is why man invented profanity in the first place.  For example when someone hits their own thumb with a hammer the use of a more colorful verbal expression actually helps ease the pain.  This can also be an effective stress relief mechanism.  If my brothers and sisters were aware of the source of this development they were gracious to avoid blaming me.

I realize that I am hardly the only one to do this.  How many times have you heard someone say “sugar” when we know darn well what they really meant?  (Did you notice the “darn?”)  So I thought why not create a new, more appropriate word in honor of the season.  I refuse to say Happy Holidays because that is obviously an attempt to de-Christianize Christmas.  On the other hand I realize that there is a certain percentage of the population that begins to sweat profusely and suffer stomach cramps at the stress of hearing something as vulgar as “Merry Christmas.”  Clearly, something had to be done.

I have decided that the word “Merry” remains politically acceptable.  It is the word “Christmas” that is causing all the heartburn.  When you think about it, “Christmas” is kind of a poor choice any way.  We are not totally sure when that all started. I have yet to read any biblical passage using the word Christmas. In addition a lot of people say Christmas while deliberately ignoring the “Christ” part of the season. I mean how many times do we need to hear that “peace and love is the true meaning of Christmas” before we acknowledge that the word itself has lost all meaning.

So, I now say “Merry Chris Craft.”  If you are going to remove “Christ” from Christmas why not replace Him with something nice, like a boat?  I have fond memories of seeing some pretty marvelous wood boats cruising around Lake Michigan.  That causes me to smile, which is totally in keeping with the season.  If someone thinks I have said “Merry Christmas”, that is fine with me.  If they are offended, I am fully prepared to justify my politically correct holiday season verbiage. Hòa bình

Merry Chris Craft.

TDM