CHARIOTS OF FIRE

In most movie depictions of Roman warriors riding around in chariots, there is a lot of armor, but precious little clothing.  I thought this was designed to show off the muscular physiques of the actors, like Brad Pitt, but now realize it may have just been historically accurate.  Scientist foolishly relying on real data have discovered that it was a lot hotter then.  It seems indisputable that the rapid industrialization of the world by the Romans must have caused global warming.  When you think about it, this makes a lot of sense.  It was certainly hot.  The Romans had a ton of chariots and they required horses to pull them at high speed.  Just think of what this was doing to our atmosphere.  In addition, Rome built all those roads and viaducts.  It is staggering to imagine the impact on our environment.  It is a miracle we survived.

http://news.investors.com/article/618004/201207121907/climate-warmer-in-roman-medieval-times.htm

If only the Romans could have enjoyed the brilliant political leadership of people like Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Chuck Schumer, Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi, the world could have been spared.  Restrictions would have been put on the number, size and weight of chariots.  Chariot drivers would have been required to limit the hours of operation for horses with mandatory rest periods and a healthy diet of oats and carrots.  Roman warriors would have been prohibited from riding in chariots, except in approved combat situations requiring prior written authorization from the Roman Senate.  This might even require approval directly from Caesar.  Armor would be closely regulated, reducing size and weight to lighten the load.  In a vigorous campaign against obesity, Roman warriors would have been limited to people weighing less than a healthy, for the time, 150 pounds.  In addition, 50% of Roman warriors would have been female.  Physical fitness and strength requirements would have been modified to prevent discrimination.

Of course this would have resulted in the death of a lot of Roman warriors, hastening the onset of the dark ages.  But, according to this report, it was at least cooler then.  Saving the global environment always requires some sacrifice.

TDM