{"id":2457,"date":"2013-11-20T23:40:27","date_gmt":"2013-11-21T06:40:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/scotshonor.com\/?p=2457"},"modified":"2013-11-21T00:38:00","modified_gmt":"2013-11-21T07:38:00","slug":"fred","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/scotshonor.com\/?p=2457","title":{"rendered":"FRED"},"content":{"rendered":"

When I was attending flight school we had an instructor no one could tolerate.\u00a0 \u00a0I will call him Fred, but that obviously was not his real name.\u00a0 Fred was very quick to ridicule people and was extremely arrogant.\u00a0 One day Fred crossed the line and really made us mad, so the \u201csecret committee\u201d<\/strong> took things into hand.\u00a0 I of course will never acknowledge whether or not I was personally a member of the secret committee, but I was very aware of what went on.\u00a0 A strategy was developed to teach Fred a lesson.<\/p>\n

It started with the phantom noise.\u00a0 We were being trained on cutting edge electronic equipment.\u00a0 One of our guys had an uncanny ability to make this high pitched noise without moving his lips.\u00a0 It sounded like the worse kind of electronic feedback.\u00a0 At random intervals he would make the noise and then the rest of us would act shocked and look around.\u00a0 We would ask Fred for help.\u00a0 It was hysterical.\u00a0 Fred, who was incapable of admitting he didn\u2019t know how to fix the problem, would go through a complicated procedure to adjust the equipment and eliminate the feedback.\u00a0 Of course the sound would increase or decrease whenever he adjusted anything, so he thought he was making progress.\u00a0 Eventually he thought he had it fixed.\u00a0 But, as soon as he got up, the \u201chum\u201d returned.\u00a0 Sometimes the \u201chum\u201d would go away for several hours, even a complete day.\u00a0 Then, at the most inopportune moment it would start up again.\u00a0 The biggest problem the rest of us had was avoiding the giggles as Fred went crazy trying to fix this.<\/p>\n

Then attention was turned to Fred\u2019s car.\u00a0 Step one was to put a small rock in his hub cap.\u00a0 This of course made a lot of racket and sounded scary.\u00a0 \u00a0This worked better than we expected, because incredibly Fred asked us for help.\u00a0 We were all glad to offer advice.\u00a0 One guy took the car for a test ride.\u00a0 As soon as he got out of sight, he removed the hubcap and put the rock in his pocket.\u00a0 Then he returned the car and said he couldn\u2019t hear anything wrong.\u00a0 \u00a0Fred took his car around the block and miraculously the noise was gone.\u00a0 He was very relieved.\u00a0 But while Fred wasn\u2019t looking, another guy took a different hub cap off and put the rock back.\u00a0 This went on for weeks.\u00a0 Sometimes the rock was there, sometimes it wasn\u2019t.\u00a0 The sound moved from one side of the car to the other and even moved from front to rear.\u00a0 Finally one of our guys offered to fix the problem for $50.\u00a0 He took the car, drove out of sight, pulled over and took out the rock.\u00a0 Then he picked up the rest of us and we spent the evening spending that $50.\u00a0 When Fred got his car back the next morning, he was thankful that the problem was fixed and considered the $50 well spent.\u00a0 We actually agreed on that.<\/p>\n

The secret committee probably would have left Fred alone, except that someone heard Fred on the phone talking with his girlfriend.\u00a0 Fred mentioned that he was going to try a fuel additive that was supposed to increase gas mileage.\u00a0 The secret committee voted to help.\u00a0 The first time he filled up, someone waited until his tank was half empty and added an extra gallon.\u00a0 Fred bragged about the improvement in gas mileage.\u00a0 The next week someone added two gallons of gas.\u00a0 Fred was ecstatic.\u00a0 He bragged about his gas mileage to anyone who would listen.\u00a0 This of course could not continue, so the secret committee voted to stop adding gas.\u00a0 Fred was depressed.\u00a0 That is when the secret committee wondered what would happen if a gallon of gas was siphoned off.\u00a0 Now Fred was really concerned.\u00a0 As the final touch, the decision was made to siphon off two gallons of gas.\u00a0 Now Fred was near tears.\u00a0 \u00a0Once again he asked us for help, so someone suggested it was time for a tune-up.<\/p>\n

Fred got the tune-up and his car was running great.\u00a0 That, of course, was not acceptable.\u00a0 So the secret committee came up with a new plan.\u00a0 A spark plug was pulled and the top of the plug was covered with scotch tape.\u00a0 Naturally that sparkplug wouldn\u2019t fire anymore, so the car started to miss.\u00a0 Fred didn\u2019t seem to be concerned enough, so the decision was made to up the ante.\u00a0 This time two sparkplugs were disabled.\u00a0 Now his car ran just plan awful and it was hard to start.\u00a0 Fred was totally depressed and talked about selling his car.\u00a0 Once again he asked for our help.\u00a0 The car was taken for another test drive.\u00a0 Once again, as soon as the car was out of sight, the driver pulled over and took the tape off the spark plugs.\u00a0 Fred was thrilled that his car was running great again, but worried about this happening again.\u00a0 That is when someone suggested that the whole problem was probably just bad gas, so the suggestion was made that Fred switch from Texaco to Shell.\u00a0 Of course the only Shell Station was way on the other side of town, and it was more expensive.\u00a0 Fred became a life-long fan of Shell gas.<\/p>\n

At this point we were pretty much done with our training, so we moved on.\u00a0 To the best of my knowledge Fred never figured out we were messing with him.\u00a0 Perhaps the best part of this story is that Fred was much nicer to us while all this was happening, because he appreciated all the help.<\/p>\n

There is no point to this story, other than I thought it might be a nice break from ObamaCare.<\/p>\n

TDM<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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